There’s a hole in my Brexit

8th December 2017

There’s a hole in my Brexit, dear Liza.

Then fix it, dear Henry.

The border is too hard, dear Liza.

Then soften it, dear Henry.

With what shall I soften it, dear Liza?

With regulatory alignment, dear Henry.

With what regulations, dear Liza?

With Internal Market and Customs Union rules, dear Henry.

Where do I get these Internal Market and Customs Union rules, dear Liza?

From the European Union, dear Henry.

And how do I get these rules, dear Liza?

From a Norway-type agreement, dear Henry.

What is a Norway-type agreement, dear Liza?

Much the same as staying in the EU, but with no say as to the rules, dear Henry.

[Wait for it.]

There’s a hole in my Brexit, dear Liza.



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8 thoughts on “There’s a hole in my Brexit”

  1. Indeed, the only victors in Brexit Britain are satirists and parrody writers. There is a lot of scope in this trope – personally, I think a re-working of (appropriately enough) The Wall, by Pink Floyd has some mileage. To the tune of the best known track…

    “We can’t get no effin Brexit,
    we need Brussels after all,
    no sunny uplands piled with nectar without an immigrant at all…
    Hey, Treezah, leave that deal alone,
    All in all we were better off B4…”

    It really is a feat to produce an outcome that pleases neither side, shows how weak your position is yet allows you to pretend that you are master of your own destiny.

  2. This should become the national anthem at least till 29/3/19. Seems to me we have no option other to accept single market and custom union rules the EU have us just where they want us. Thank you sincerely DUP from my remain view and thank you ironically from Nigel Fargo,,

  3. The game “Mornington Crescent” on BBC R4’s “I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue” could not be a better metaphor for Brexit. This government even embodies the show’s name.

    For those unfamiliar with it “[t]he game consists of each panellist in turn announcing a landmark or street, most often a tube station on the London Underground system. The apparent aim is to be the first to announce ‘Mornington Crescent’, a station on the Northern line. Interspersed with the turns is humorous discussion amongst the panellists and host regarding the rules and legality of each move, as well as the strategy the panellists are using.

    “Despite appearances, the rules are open to interpretation and both the naming of stations and the specification of ‘rules’ are based on stream-of-consciousness association and improvisation.Thus the game is intentionally incomprehensible.” [1]


  4. I just think that unfortunately G.B. is pursuing the interests of USA with the Brexit and they don’t really care about their own people, sad to tell but true.
    I reckon it could be one of the few available explanations.

  5. Fin d’epoque

    Accept it, Brexit dealt a fatal whack,
    after our leaders flushed us down the drain.
    There ‘aint a bleedin’ chance of getting back.

    After the flood, one God-almighty crack,
    it twangs reverberation in the brain.
    Accept it, Brexit dealt a fatal whack.

    Think we’re in the red? No, just bloodied black,
    bruised, battered and bewildered. And in pain.
    There ‘aint a bleedin’ chance of getting back.

    We lost it all because the hacks would hack,
    in-out questions are worse than acid rain.
    Accept it, Brexit dealt a fatal whack.

    I’d sooner spend my life upon the rack
    than live in England with her purple stain.
    There ‘aint a bleedin’ chance of getting back.

    There is no way to re-gain what we lack.
    If only Leave had voted to Remain.
    Accept it, Brexit dealt a fatal whack,
    there ‘aint a bleedin’ chance of getting back.

    Alison R Noyes

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